Beautiful Tragic

It’s been a really lousy day – lack of sleep, a lot of things on my plate now, perpetually hungry and so many insecurity issues. I hate myself for feeling this way, but the thing is that I had a lousy birthday this year and I can’t believe I’m still moping around over this. I feel neglected for all the wrong reasons and it’s tough because nobody really does understand. People always think they really understand when someone tells them their troubles but you’d really never understand unless you’ve walked the same thousand miles.

I am damn thankful for friends, but I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. It’s not like I need a million friends, I only need that group of four like in primary school where people bother to remember and surprise you with things. They remember that you’re an awesome friend and are glad they still have you around when someone else isn’t to be there for them. But I’ve been feeling like I don’t matter anymore (that fwwweeeling where you feel like your existence doesn’t make a difference in their life). I KNOW I’M PATHETIC.

I guess relationships between people are really just unique and weird in their own way.. don’t need flowers and hearts and bling and what the hell am I talking about anymore.

GOODBYE I HATE CRYING (I’m sorry to my WP followers this is such a classic example of my 15-year-old blog posts)


10 things I’ve learned during my 4 years at Tufts

Everything, esp. 5 (always believe that when doors close at least a window will open)

You've got a fast car

1. It is as important to hold back your words as it is to speak up.

It requires a tremendous and commendable amount of self-control. I know it’s popular to be loud about things, but the loudest voices aren’t always the wisest. It really is okay to think first, and react later, even if it means appearing like you don’t have an opinion. And if it hurts someone unnecessarily, maybe it really isn’t worth saying.

2. Your firmest beliefs will be challenged.

I came into Tufts with a Christian faith that looked very different than it does now. Nothing stays stagnant if it matters to you – you probe it uncomfortable with second opinions and questions. Sometimes this leads you towards conviction, and other times your convictions get pried out of the ground, completely uprooted, with a remaining “what now?” hanging in the air.

3. Your race matters. 

It really…

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