School, Travelling, SJ

Oh it pretty much sucks to not know what I wna do in life.

Pre-law actually seems like a good way to go.. but I can’t study law in US unless I migrate and work there ROFL and I need to perhaps do like extremely well for my SATs and I don’t think I did. Anyway I sent my scores to colleges with good Psych programs anyway. If I go ahead with US I might just take a whole range of subjects before finally choosing my major. I mean, it’s all about experience right? Like if Psych becomes too neurological I might go with Sociology that kinda thing. Since Mr Tong says you need as much information as possible to open up your options and thus make the wisest choice you can with the most number of options you can afford to have.

Plus I need to see the world before I get restrained by university next year. It’s really hard choosing between SJ and travelling. Travelling has always been what I wanted to do – discovering the world, living the life others live, gaining new perspectives, taking in new experiences, but SJ is a responsibility and a commitment. No matter how annoyed these kids make me they are still MY kids. There’s a loveeee (CHEESY) that I have to keep giving in terms of presence and time simply because I don’t wanna miss a thing they’re going through.

I guess I might just sign on to see them through. After that, I really don’t know. Agh.

家家有本难念的经

It’s very true, what they say how no family is perfect, how each family has its problems, how it is next to impossible for an outsider to tackle these problems for them.

I didn’t grow up in a perfect family. I don’t think it’s really a matter of “the grass is greener on the other side” either. I’m not saying that my mum thinking we’re fighting again everything I ask my brothers something is a bad thing either. I think it’s just that we’ve reached this particular of stage in Family where some things are quite difficult to be vocal about. Love is an awkward topic – actually everything is an awkward topic, and somehow it’s kinda sad coz we can’t talk about anything at all. The family is heated up when talking about EVERYTHING. Including things that aren’t supposed to matter at all.

Agh. Later.

God speaks

On this day of your life, Hannah, we believe God wants you to know … that you deserve happiness just because.
Message from God
There is nothing you need to do to deserve happiness. There are no ‘minimal requirements’ for you to fulfill before you can claim happiness. You deserve happiness simply by virtue of having been born. That’s it. Nothing more is required. Be happy.

I think God speaks to me in many different ways. Signs, all my many deja vus, written text, spiritual talk. It’s funny how you can rely on your great Dad when you never continued to believe in Him.

The world is strange, I’m still trying to find my place in this world.