Struggle.

Haven’t spontaneously cried in such a long time. Or burned my skin in hot water. Or stone in the dark listening to my iPod.

What came over me?

 

Sorry I’m not gonna say anything unless I trust you enough to not judge me any bit 😦

I’m set. I’ll spend the money I earn in the next few months to travel alone. Need time to learn to love and forgive. To forget how regret and hurt feels like. To remember how to live.

Advertisements

My Person

She’s my person. If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She’s my person.

I don’t have that person. The person I can call at 4am who would pick up in her sleep and run to my house to be there for me. The person who would die for me . The person who would bitchslap the guy who breaks my heart. The person who doesn’t care how much I fangirl and gets into it with me. The person who knows what’s the first thing I’d do when I have nothing to do. The person who would call me the first thing there’s anything to share with someone else. The person who would know my life long dreams and go the extra mile to help me. The person who’s there for me regardless how many times I try to run from church, from my friends, from sj, from crazies, from family, from problems. The person who’d be there to be the first person to make up when we quarrel because she knows how stubborn I am. The person like Lydia is to Liwen and Cheryl is to Jade and Manjia is to Yufeng and Donghae is to Eunhyuk and Eunhyuk is to Leeteuk.

I need my person, and I don’t know where to get one.

I want to be someone’s person, I’m ready to be one, but I don’t have anyone available to be his/her person.

Can I die now?