Dysfunctional me

(Maroon 5 – One More Night)

I try to hard not think about the crappy things that go on in my life since like forever.. I’m detached (again and again and again), I’m not doing as well as I planned to in school, all the white elephants at home, plus throw in a random guy who confuses the hell out of me.. I need my best friends 😦

Thankful for many 언니s, 오빠s & 동생s lolol

But on a side note, thankful for friends in hall who keep an eye out for me (no matter whether it’s out of 八卦 or what..).. I need to talk so badly 😦

Loves serving as much as I would like to. Patches me up. Communicates the same way I do (a lot of emotional talking involved). Loves people. Isn’t jaded by the world. Respects and loves the most important things in my life. Most importantly, someone who loves me for me.. I shouldn’t have to try to impress you or even try so damn freaking hard to be what you want me to be.. that wouldn’t be love then, would it?

In this crazy environment of endless pressures to be in a relationship.. if it’s not love, it’s not love.

What else can we do, but to keep running till we find our most important reason to fear death.

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아파 It Hurts

The funny thing in life is, nobody really knows how much someone can be hurting. We could be standing next to someone completely broken and all we’d do was to walk away, never knowing how much they needed you at that moment.

And all they ever did was to hide behind a mask and put up more walls, pretending there was nothing wrong just so nobody would have to worry about them

And all I could ever do was to finally acknowledge after running away for more than 5 years that I had to grow up a little faster and be a little more understanding.. in hope that one day they would find the heart to love again.

Sometimes I wish people could read my mind. All I ever wanted was for someone to see the hurt I was keeping inside without me having to explain myself; bringing me into your arms and allowing myself to cry to sleep; telling me it would be alright and that I didn’t have to apologise to anybody anymore.

I need a savior from this madness.