The Big U

No, not the U as in “Unsatisfactory” in grades, but U as in “University”, at long last.

Hahaha the Big As finally dropped the bomb on everyone on Friday. Crazy crazy.

Of course I would cry for Chemistry.. when you put your heart, your soul and your kaching into a field of study you are so amazed from deep within by it nearly killed me when I saw B.

Of course I would cry when I knew I couldn’t go overseas.. when you’re blessed with parents who unfortunately (or fortunately) aren’t the GIC President or a super Litigator and can’t afford to let you go overseas even if you are capable of it it would have killed me when I saw that my grades went way above expectations.

Of course I would cry when I finally prayed and understood that God gave me my parents, that by God’s Grace I will not complain, that by God’s Grace I am already so so fortunate to be in Singapore, that by God’s Grace I am so so thankful for taking me through the Big As even if I felt as if I might as not have studied hard at all.

That by God’s Grace I am more than just unworthy of Your love, but You love me nonetheless.

감사합니다, 주님.

주님 내가 여기있사오니

주님 내가 여기 있사오니 나를 보내소서
나의 맘 나의 몸 주께 드리오니 주 받으옵소서
주님 내가 여기 있사오니 나를 써주소서 
가진 것 모두 다 주께 드리오니 주 받으옵소서
알렐루야 알렐루야 알렐루야 알렐루야
알렐루야 알렐루야 알렐루야 알렐루야

: )



Haven’t blogged for so long, always just drowning my thoughts on twitter. Guess it’d be good for me to have an outlet to express my thoughts, even if no one reads. I’m too lazy to write it all down onto my pretty Muji notebooks anyway..

As was a period of madness. Madness as in lack of focus, lack of discipline.. I was just messed up. Praying for God’s help to find guilt shrouding in my head just seconds before the clock strikes 8 doesn’t really help with the paper. But alas, it’s over nonetheless. I will take what comes my way.. regardless.

The KL trip was another short but good getaway. Stayed at my cousin’s house.. we talked a lot about how Singapore and Malaysia are so different. And I met Kimberly Chang with her VJ friends hahaha. It was short but good 🙂 And I will have a proper wedding in the future… no outdoors banquet with strange songs that are totally out of focus of a wedding..

And I found my Zara blazer in KL that Denise found for me in Singapore! ER makes it cheaper heh albeit by $14.. (that’s 1 Jap meal/2 Starbucks drinks/lots of milk tea). Met Alyson at F21 LOL

Had a really good time with my cousins heh we played monopoly twice on my tiny iPhone screen (when you play alone it’s normal but when you play with 4 it’s really tiring) until I managed to install it onto their iPad ._. So silly hahaha. Monopoly is sure to be my favourite board game of all time! 😀 And I learnt so many new tactics and strategies..

Came back in time for Prom! This was the one I really hesitated in going coz $90 is a lot of money and if I counted everything else the monetary value of my prom night came up to more than $400 😦 Shoes $40 Dress $30 Hair $20 Ticket $90 Accessories $30 Zouk $20 Cab $10 Make up $100+ Blazer $135 😦 Not very value for money since I didn’t enjoy myself that much. And lol didn’t get into Zouk since I forgot to bring IC. Fail but okay.. it’s something I promise I won’t want to try to try anymore. (a key takeaway from Raphael’s workshop on making decisions in your life! Not whether things are right or wrong, but whether they are wise or unwise.)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ $400 is a trip to Taiwan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Advisory meeting, followed by cooking at Jade’s! Had a really fun time cooking and talking to her family too 😀 We should do this more often!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I shall get down to planning the BBQ tomorrow later before I head to MBS for Wicked (OMG SO EXCITED! ESP FOR FOR GOOD!) with Mao.

Hike Recee on Friday before Kairos Camp! Was so so tired and I twisted my ankle 😦 it just felt so weird and pain for the next few days. I don’t care whether it was swollen or not please (omg Chee Hoe and Zoel’s comments totally pissed me off) it was pain unless I got stabbed in my brain. @&#@(*)@D So angsty need to calm down.

Shall blog about Kairos later! Tired + too much to say.

Not sure what I’ll do for the next 8 months. It’s crazy and I’m already tired. Today Jia Hui reminded us that it’s only been 10 days since As has been over.. Ah.

Hold me in Your grace.